Friendship is proximity + opportunity, that's why as children we could be best friends with someone after only seeing them a few times. As adults we simply don't have the leisure time to meet new people.
Scientists have studied friendship, which is not surprising to me, and they have gathered that it takes approximately 3 to 9 weeks after meeting someone, to be considered a friend. This equates up to approximately 50+ hours of communal leisure time spent together.
I however, seem to make acquaintances fairly easily but friendship seems to be way more difficult. Its been that way for as long as I remember, most of my friendships are 10 years or longer. I met them in elementary all the way to college. However, I don't think I have made a true friend since college.
My big question is, how do adults with children make friends? Where do meet people?
We have recently joined a local homeschool group, with tons of kids and my kids loved it. I'm very hopeful that this will be a place for all of us to make some new friends.
Between being a stay at home mom and homeschooling we don't really get out much or if we do it is for an educational trip or family time.
In this day in age finding someone that has the similar beliefs as you is like a needle in a needle stack. I don't mean religious beliefs, though that does help. I mean someone raising their child in a similar manner as you.
If you do manage to find your needle, how often do message them? Do you text/call first? Did they actually want to meet up or were they being nice? Oh and heaven forbid they need to cancel plans. The racing thoughts after that.
Friendships shouldn't be like pulling teeth. I think one of two things happens that ruin the possibility of a friendship. One person is unsure the frequency of contact before it becomes awkward or two, one person has a sufficient amount of friends and didn't realize how the other person was struggling to make a friend.
I watch my kids walk up to other kids and instantly make friends, like they have known each other their whole lives. Honestly, I wish adults were more childlike in this instance.
If I had the answer on how to make friends, I would tell you. Unfortunately, I don't have that answer. My only suggestion is, send the text, make the call, try to make plans even if it is out of your comfort zone. Just keep trying.